things have been very busy, but good, lately.
going to school three days a week. monday wednesday and friday. taking: statistics, intro to sociology, writing, and sociology of technology. it's not a horrible schedule. i'm not a fan of having an 8am class though. with the commute i'm up way too early for my own good. so, i'll remember to try my best never to do that again.
working a little bit as well. two or three days a week. this week, luckily, only two. yeah, i'll be low on money, but when i worked full shifts on days i didn't have class, i wanted to die a little. i'm not so used to all of that. i'm more so used to being lazy. and i don't have too much of a chance to do that lately.
kenny and i made dinner about two weeks ago (i think. i wanted to write about it then. but i was too tired) it was really good though. pasta with sausage and vegetables. also fresh baked breadsticks as well, of course. (which kenny did a very good job making pretty.)
can i say that i miss drunken nights? ok.
the dye in my hair is almost ready to come out, so, i'll have to write something more soon.
i've been working a lot.
i have a good pay check waiting to be put in the bank.
my step dad owes me nearly two hundred dollars.
the holidays were very nice.
kenny spoiled me rotten.
beautiful new claddagh ring that i stare at consitantly.
wonderful new video i pod that i am currently in love with.
my parents got me a nice printer for my digi cam which i will have to begin to use soon.
i spent christmas eve baking.
i spent christmas at kenny's house.
spent new years with kenny and his friends.
spent the early morning puking and dry heaving.
kenny told me "i love you rich".
it was a retarded drunken evening.
turned into a hungover day.
haven't been working as much since holiday ended.
that's ok with me.
have to take a math test for stony brook tomorrow morning.
went out with kenny aj and rich.
this morning found out matt has cancer.
keeping him in my thoughts and prayers.
holiday is going to be super tough, i can feel it already. who knows when i'll have the time to go out christmas shopping. it's going to be super crazy.
i got out almost 20 minutes late today. maryanne wouldn't let me go at 9, when i was supposed to get off, and when my ride was there, because everything wasn't completely finished. but every other time my ride has come, she told me it was no problem for me to go. fucking bi-polar i swear. the store didn't even look that bad.
that's not even the thing that gets me upset. i'm really going to have to talk to her tomorrow.
now, i understand that holiday is really important. and that the store is going to be super busy. and that everyone has responsibilities. but here's my thing, i have a responsibility towards my family.
we're having family christmas on the 4th in connecticut. my grandparents have even flown up. everyone's getting together. it's tradition. and i actually like it.
so i tell her, that i'm really sorry, and that i can work every other day that week, except for the fourth. she tells me that i'm going to have to work sometime that day.
ok, so i'll just jog back from connecticut and be there because you need me that badly when i'm sure you don't.
i really don't want to go into the whole fucking sob story. but i think i'm going to have to. and i really hope it doesn't result in me crying at work. although i've seen more crying at this job than any other.
but seriously...i hate to think about it, but my grandma's up for christmas. i've already missed family events because i've been working. i don't get to see her very often because she lives in florida. so these family get togethers mean a lot to me. there's a limit to life, you know. i mean, it's fucking brain cancer. and, it's my grandma.
i don't even like thinking about it. i almost try to pretend it's not happening to her.
and it's the holidays. maybe not technically the holidays yet. but this is our family holiday time. and i really really really want to spend it with my family. not fucking slaving over everyone elses friends and family.
fucking friends and family day. my family won't be there because they'll be having christmas. but i might have to be there.
i'll get a warning, get fired, whatever. i'm calling in sick that day if she doesn't give me off. i'm sick of missing out on my family for her. she means nothign to me. money isn't all that important. my grandma means everything to me. and family is what's important.
i'm totally going to boston tonight with kenny!!!
kenny's ex to be exact.
ew. she wasn't in the picture at all, and then out of the blue she starts im'ing him. trying to talk to him. asking him if they're friends. trying to remind him of all of their good times. trying to get him sentimental. trying to get herself back into his life.
he says he wants nothing to do with that. thank goodness.
ugh. bitch. go away. thanks.
yeah, i'm a little possesive with this one.
it's that whole, love, thing.
i might feel sick
but he came over tonight
and that always makes me feel better...
are some of my absolute favorite.
kenny picked me up after he got off of work. we stopped at starbucks. then went back to his place, cuddled on his couch, watched a movie, had some snacks.
i love just laying my head on his chest with my arms around him. him telling me he knows i can hold him tighter. i squeeze. he tells me how much he loves me.
soft kisses. tighting of our arms around eachother. holding hands. just looking at eachother.
it's all so wonderfully comfortable.
it's nights like those that make me feel so content, at ease, and pleased with life.
and to come home and see a clear sky. all the stars. and to kiss him goodnight under that.
love. love. love.
and i'm super excited.
not even a week until boston.
the pru, newbury street, gainsboro, the common, fire and ice, the club, drinking, beirut, thai food, espresso royal (mango tea), the city in general.
and to have kenny there with me.
i have cramps.
i'm going to go eat something.
and then work all day.
but you know what...i really can't say i mind all that much.
i'm just in too good of a mood :)
oh, and yesterday i bought an iTrip. i love it.
sometimes i don't like this house. i don't feel comfortable really yet. i don't know all the knooks and crannies. i don't know the certian noises it makes when there's silence.
that's why it's so hard for me to fall asleep at night. my overactive imagination plus lots of little noises, that i'm sure are perfectly normal, just not yet to me, keep me up.
and i heard a few tonight. before i sat here to type about it.
i need my sleep and i'm sick.
i guess i should just put on my tv and fall asleep to that.
it sucks a lot
i spent my night doing absolutely nothing productive
i guess i'll spend tomorrow doing boring things, like laundry
tomorrow it'll be mine and kenny's four month mark...although i'm sure he's working most of the day
i don't feel like writing in this now
afraid of what i might say at this moment
long day of work + it being ridiculously hot there + being suck =
well..i'm sure you get the jist
i can't find my remote control
and i knew that me and kenny had sex. it was a give in. i was there.
but when he further elaborated on details that i didn't remember due to me being drunk, i was surprised.
i guess i talked more, and became a little bit more agressive in certain circumstances. and i had no idea that we were at it for over an hour. i thought it might have been a half hour tops. i guess i was wrong. i mean, it makes sense, we were both pretty tired when it was over. it made me laugh, and i was slightly embarrassed about my actions. oh well. it was good. and we made fun of the faces that we both make during sex, because it's really funny. it's like, the most unsexy thing ever. but amusing. definetly amusing.
and speaking of amazing things
plans, the new death cab album, i like it a lot. john sent me the files today. and i'm going to fall asleep listening to it. re-falling in love with ben gibbard's voice and words once again.