i really don't understand

i try to spend some quality time in the pool with my parents. everything seems to be going well. conversation is going on and george mentions putting "my" rollerblades on ebay. even though they're actually his. so, jokingly i say, you kept "my" rollerblades throughout the move, but you threw away my skateboard. he gets all in defensive mode about how i never used it...which is bs. i didn't use it often, true, but i def. used it once and a while. he could call up vinny and chris if he'd like to ask them because there definetly was a day or two where they came over and tried to teach me things. but, non the less, he complained how i left it outside for two years. which wasn't my fault, because when i first got it, it was in my room, but he saw it there and threw it outside. so i was like, well, i haven't used my bike in two years, why didn't you get rid of that? it has two flat tires and has been sitting around, but you decided to keep that? so he was like, well then i'll get rid of that too. and i just wanted to end the conversation so i said, well, i guess all i'm saying is that i wish you would have asked before you threw something of mine out, that's all. and i thought it would end there. and he comes back with, well, maybe if you kept your room clean. wtf? keeping my room clean has anything to do with me having a skateboard? excuse me? so i just didn't feel like dealing it, and just said i was going to take a shower and walked out of the pool. and then he gets all pissy cause i "had to have the last word"
well, excuse me for thinking i'm right. i have something. it's mine. you throw it away without asking. i become a little upset over the fact. now...i don't know where i've become the horrible person i seem to be there.
i don't know. i really don't want to let frustration get the better of me. things lately have been looking up. and i'm not going to start slipping back into being angry. i'm getting along so much better with my mom. i don't understand what's happening with george. i don't know what i'm doing wrong, because i really feel like i'm doing the best i can. it's been like this for a while. he thinks i'm changing (and then he mentioned mainly for the better) so what's going on? does he not like the fact that i'm growing up and maturing while he's always telling me it's time to leave the nest, to fly on my own (like he's been telling me for years?)
i have a job (granted i'm not getting the hours i want) but i pay for my own little things. granted i will eat the food in the house. but if there's anything extra that i want, i'll buy it for myself. i've never liked asking for things, ever. and i feel like a rarely do (with the exceptions of rides, since i don't have my license, which i'm also working on) i'm in college. (although i'm still in limbo about classes and living situations) i have an idea what i want to do with my future. and i can't wait to really start that. i want independence so badly. i want to be on my own. i want to have a job, and an apartment, and i want to cook and clean and be responsible for what i have. maybe he sees me as too independent. when a good amount of my friends are just happy scrubbing off their parents for as long as they can, i can't wait to start on my own. and i know it'll be hard. damn hard. but i crave that independence so much. i had a lot of it in boston. i was going to school, lived in an apt., had to grocery shop and cook for myself. i cleaned when i felt was neccisary. i stayed out until i wanted to be in. i handled my responsibilities the way i felt best. maybe that's too much i. i don't know.
my mom and i were discussing the other day about investing money into a condo or an apartment. she suggested the port jeff area. i said i'd rather live closer to where i'm going to school/potentiall working. i mean, granted i don't believe that this will happen any time soon. although if it did i wouldn't complain. i'm young still. i know that. i won't deny that.
i really don't know where i'm rambling off to right now. bah.
sometimes i feel like, if i had a car, and a job that gave me more hours, i would be at my house rarely. i'm not saying i don't love my parents. i do. dearly. but sometimes, i feel like a child here. and to go from feeling like an adult...to a child...to leaving the house and again feeling like an adult...i dont' know. it kind of just gets to me.